STOP IT!!! NO…REALLY….

So, it’s Monday.  I laid in bed this morning and came up with 3,234 excuses I could use to stay home from work.  Then I got up anyway because most of them involved flying saucers and frankly, I’ve used flying saucers too many times as a call-off excuse.  I schlepped out to the coop to let out the Chicken Mafia in my usual state of morning disheveledness.  The humidity that had rolled in over night was absolutely oppressive.  My hair is bad in the morning when I get up to begin with but add about 90 percent humidity and it actually breaks laws of physics.

Anyway, out at the coop I opened the doors and got the usual morning looks that clearly say “Where have you been, it’s been light for HOURS.”  About the only words I could manage to get out this morning were “S’up Chickens.”  I checked food and water and let them out into the run and the usual morning mayhem of those first few minutes of being outside ensued with one difference.

Cluck was standing in the run crowing like a FOOL.

Yesterday's strawberrysicle.

Yesterday’s strawberrysicle.

I popped out of the doors by the run and there stood Cluck.   He watched me for a second to see if I would throw any “SCRAAAATCH….OMG…SCRAAAATCH”…which I didn’t because it’s hot and they don’t need to be revving up their chicken engines with CORN which will just make them hotter.  I just looked at Cluck and said “WHAT was that?”

Cluck shook his feathers from head to toe, twisted his neck funny, opened his beak and…

“AWHHHHHK-ADOODA-DOOOOOOOOOOOO”

And then he looked at me and shook his feathers again.

I’m always floored when something new happens.  Just yesterday I’d been watching Vinnie and Cluck, the two roosters, and marveling at how well-behaved and quiet they were.  Now I was standing there with my face hanging open and just to add drama to the situation, Cluck opened his beak wide, twisted his neck a little, stood up tall and…

“AWWWWWWWHHHK-ADOODA-DOOOOOOO!!”

The others were paying absolutely no attention.  They were chasing bugs and trying to kill each other over fallen hackberry tree leaves.

“AWWWWWHHHHHK-ADOODA-DOOOO!  AWWWWHHHHK-ADOODA-DOOOOOOOO!”

Okay, now he was just showing off.  He had come over to me at the side of the fence…just in case…you know, “SCRAAAAATCH” might happen.  He shook his feathers again, preened a little and then looked at me and blinked a few times.

Then I saw him open his beak and do the neck thing again.

“NO…Cluck…stop it”

“AWWWK-ADOODA-DOOO!”

“CLUCKKKKK…NOOOOOOO…SHHHHHHHHHH”

“AWWWK-ADOODA-DOO! AWWK-ADOODA-DOO!!!”

“STOP IT!!!  CLUCK…You’re going to wake up the neighbors!  Cluck….STOP. I MEAN it!!!!”

And you know…he didn’t.  He just kept awwk-adooda-dooing…and I kept pleading for him to KNOCK IT OFF.

And where was the OTHER rooster during this whole “WAKE UP WESTSIDE” episode?  Beak down in a pile of strawberries that were part of yesterday’s Strawberrysicle.  Never even looked up.  Just kept sucking down soggy berries.

Cluck strutted around the run, seemingly pleased with himself…then the wind blew and scattered the pullets like fallen leaves and Cluck nearly had a heart attack and streaked for the door to the coop.

So. Darn. BRAVE.

He pulled himself together and strutted around a little more, throwing “Awwk-adooda-doos” in, every once in a while, just to make sure everyone knew he could still do it.  As he walked by Vinnie, who was still munching on strawberries, Vinnie apparently thought he should protect the berry pile and he raised his hackle feathers and jumped at Cluck.  Cluck raised his hackle feathers and they both jumped up and down facing each other while flapping their wings.  Vinnie was the first to stop because…well, STRAWBERRIES.  Cluck jumped around and lunged at him a few times and Vinnie MIGHT have looked up from the strawberry he was eating…but only for a second.

You know, he has priorities.

Cluck gave up and joined Vinnie at the soggy berry pile and as I walked back to the house, I looked back and they were comb to comb eating fruit.

angry villagersI figure it’ll take a couple of days for the neighborhood to figure out where all the noise is coming from.  Unless they already have and they’re busy making torches out of gasoline soaked rags and buying shovels, pitchforks and axes.

 

I shared this post on the Homestead Barn Hop #163!

 

 

2 comments

  1. Pam R. says:

    Yup, non-stop crowing. That’s why DH has declared this a rooster free zone. He just can’t stand that sound.

    Even though we ordered all pullets, he said today it looks like we got a few roosters anyways. As long as it’s a FEW (like 3-5), for the remaining 65 hens, that won’t be too bad. But for DH it will be awful once they start. But it’s only until mid September….

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